<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Harry Potter and the Emotionally Stable Household by opswitch</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478178">Harry Potter and the Emotionally Stable Household</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/opswitch/pseuds/opswitch'>opswitch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fix It Fic, Fuck Jk.Rowling, Indian Harry Potter, M/M, No beta we die like fred, all my homies hate jk Rowling, even tho he lives in this one, harry has a happy childhood and good rolemodels, when i mean slow burn i mean slowburn, wolfstar will be canon just later</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:01:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26478178</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/opswitch/pseuds/opswitch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After Lily and James are killed, Harry is given to one of their best friends, Remus Lupin. And although they struggle with lycanthropy, the rise of Voldemort and the return of someone Remus never thought he would see again, Harry grows up in a stable household.</p><p>Aka the Remus raises Harry AU I saw many people craving so I decided to write it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter &amp; Remus Lupin, I tag as I write - Relationship, Lily Potter/James Potter (Mentioned), Mention of other ships - Relationship, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, The Marauders - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Boy who Lived</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>As I mentioned in the summary I saw many people on tumblr, tiktok and wattpad thinking about what would have happened if Harry was raised by Remus instead of the Dursleys, so I decided to take matters into my own hands and write it (what i am saying is that this concept was not really my idea, kudos to everyone who posted about it).</p><p>Please excuse any grammar mistakes, english is not my first language (but pls correct me if u see one) and sometimes a messed up timeline, I took canon and ran with it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was quite the opposite of full moon, the crescent moon so thin that it was barely visible in the nightsky, but Remus Lupin felt as if he had just spent the past week in his wolfly form, his head pounding and his eyes itching, tired and exhausted. By now he should be used to death, he thought to himself bitterly, considering all the friends he had lost over the past year.</p><p>Gideon and Fabian Prewetts deaths had hit him especially hard. He had always liked their jokes during serious order meetings and they had thaught him how to play several muggle card games during shared missions, while they were pretending to be muggles spending their friday nights in a pub, and not wizards, waiting for deatheaters to step out of the building across the street so they could follow them.<br/>And although them being killed in action had made him punch the wall in Sirius crammed flat out of anger and frustration, Marlene McKinnons murder in June had made him not get out of bed for the next three days straight.</p><p>Marlene had been a stellar member of Remus thightknit friendgroup in Hogwarts, studying with them in the library, cheering James on at his Quidditch games, visiting Hogsmeade and the Diagon Alley with them before school started, assisting the maurauders with their pranks and in the end she had fought alongside them in the Order of the Phoenix against who-must-not-be-named. Lilly had been inconsolable for days after she had gotten the news that Marlene and her entire family had been killed by death eaters in a raid of their family home.</p><p>The funeral following the killing of one of their longest and closest friends had been an awfully painfull matter. Not many had attended, even with the McKinnons being a big and well respected  family in the wizarding world. The fear of something similar happening to them or to family mebers had been to big and  to established by similar occurences that many had stayed away.<br/>James, Lilly, Sirius, Peter and Remus had been one of the few to attend, except for some very distant cousins of Marlene that did not even share her family name. They had bought her a giant bouquet of tiger lillies to lay on the casket, Marlenes favourite kind of flowers. <br/>It was the only thing they could have done for her in that moment, except for avenging her death of course, but they did not know which of Voldemorts death eaters had participated in the raid, and so this option was kind of out of the picture.</p><p>A few days after the funeral Lilly and James had gone into hiding with their son Harry.<br/>Harry, who was now alone in this world.<br/>Lilly and James, who were now dead.</p><p>He had gotten the news like most of the wizarding world by owl. While he had made his morning cup of tea, the brown feathered owl that always delivered his copy of the daily prophet had dropped the newspaper on his windowsill. Remus had opened the window and grabbed it, his heart starting to beat fast in excitement has he read the headline : The Dark Lord is Defeated! We are free at last! <br/>A moment later his eyes had found the subheadline, and his pounding heart had shattered into a million little pieces.<br/>Potter family found dead as casualties as son Harry survives and is seemingly responsible for overpowering who-must-not-be-named.</p><p>After that, he did not remeber much. Just that he had sent frantic messages via patronus to Sirius and Peter, wanting to know if they had already heared from what had happened and asking if they could stop by, but they both had neither answered, nor had they stopped by. <br/>When thinking back to this moment years later Remus would often ask himself how he had managed to perform the patronus charm, considering how this had been the worst moment of his life.<br/>He had spent the day alone up in his apartement, crying, screaming, ripping apart furniture, trying to make sense of what had just happened in the night before. <br/>How could a child, a baby of Harrys age, overpower the most powerful dark wizard of this century, who had killed so many before with just the flick of his wand?<br/>And where was Harry now?<br/>How did Voldemort find out where James and Lilly were hiding? Sirius was their secretkeeper. Only he knew where they living and he would never give up their location, he would rather die.<br/>Now, while the entire wizarding world was celebrating that Lord Voldemort was gone, Remus sat in his apartement in a small town near London, in the green armchair he had bought from the second-hand shop down the road and starred numbly through his window watching the dark street below.<br/>He still could not really grasp the situation. <br/>James was Remus best friend. Sirius and Peter were his best friends. They were like an extension of his soul, they finished each others sentences, knew what the others were thinking by just looking at them and they had  spent so much time together over the years, that sometimes Remus felt uncomfortable when it was too silent around him.</p><p>In the war he had felt lonely many times, when he was alone on a mission for the order or with other members that were not his three favourite people in the entire world, or Lilly, who had creeped into their lifes when she had started dating James and never left again.<br/>The hole they had left in his soul was starting to get bigger by the second.<br/>Once every few minutes he jolted up in his chair and from grieving, thinking he could just get up and apparate to James and Lillys House, have a cup of tea and talk to them, like he often did when something was worrying him, but then he remebered that they were murdered last night. And then he started crying again.</p><p> </p><p>Around twelve Remus started to slip in and out of sleep, his head pounding from crying and thinking. He would have been succesfull with falling asleep permanantly, if not for the light down in the street sundenly changing.<br/>Sleepily Remus got up, rubbing his eyes and stepping closer to the window. Aside from one of the lanterns not being lit he could not make out anything that seemed suspicious, but if the war had thought him anything, then it was that nothing ever was what it seemed.<br/>So he stared a little longer. Another lantern turned of, but not suddenly, it looked like the light was  being sucked out of it. A ball of light formed and flew to the right, out of Remus field of sight. Weird. He grabed his wand from his pocket, just in case.<br/>The next lantern turned of and then the next, and the next, until eventually, all the lanterns were out and the street was so dark that Remus could see his own reflexion in the window. He spoted the deep bags under his eyes and the thin white scar stretching over half of his face, a remnant of the attack that turned him into a werewolf as a child. It had been there since he could remember.<br/>He stood very still, listening into the night. <br/>After a few seconds the main door downstairs opened with a crack. One of the only perks being a werewolf had was being able to hear better than anyone.<br/>There were two people comming up the stairs, definitely wizards, no muggle would wear the long robes that he could hear dragging over the floor. So these two were indeed looking for him. He was the only wizard living in the house after all, maybe even the town.<br/>They knocked on his door. And then one of them started to speak and Remus was startled when he realised who was standing in front of his flat.<br/>„Remus, are you home?“<br/>„Professor Dumbledore?“<br/>His voice sounded raspy from all the crying.<br/>„Indeed. I am sorry to disturb you, more even on this day, but I am afraid this can not wait.“</p><p>Remus opened the door. There in the hallway was indeed Professor Dumbledore, in a long blue robe, his silvery beard tucked into his belt and his half-moon shaped glasses on his crooked nose. Next to him was Professor McGonagall, his old Head of House in Hogwarts. Her hair was pulled back in its usual tight knot, but her face was softer then what Remus remebered from school and he could see that she was also striken by grief. James always joked around that even with all the trouble the marauders had brought McGonagall, they were her favourite students. And according to „Minnies“ face, as Sirius liked to call her, he was right.<br/>„Can we please come in Remus? I dont think your neighbours would like to be woken up by us.“<br/>„Sure“.<br/>He let them in and only now saw that Dumbledore was carying a bundle in his arms. A bundle that looked very much like it contained a child.<br/>„Harry“, Remus gasped as he saw a patch of dark hair sticking out from the linnen sheets. Dumbledore nodded and sighed. <br/>There was a pang in his chest. The whole day he had thought about Lilly and James and where Sirius and Peter were, he had not spared a thought for their small child, except for wondering where he was. Not at any point had he been worried about him, which made him feel extremely guilty. What could have happened to him, god, Remus did not want to think about it. If it were not for Dumbledore...<br/>„Hagrid got him out of the house, just before the muggles arrived on the scene. He is waiting outside the village right now, he wanted to come with us, but...“<br/>„I reckon he is a bit big“, Remus finished Dumbledores sentence for him and made a gesture in the air to signify Hagrids extreme height. <br/>Then he wiped his eyes with one of his sleeves because the tears were still wet on his face. The skin there felt sore and he winced.</p><p>McGonagall broke the silence.<br/>„Remus, we are here to ask you to be Harrys legal guardian.“<br/>His mouth fell slightly open.<br/>„Ha?“, he asked, and then after realising that this was probably not the response the two professors were expecting he said „Why? I mean ...“, he began to stutter, at loss for words. „Why not ask Sirius? He is Harrys godfather?“<br/>McGonagalls face twitched a little, and he could sense that something was wrong. <br/>Oh no, what had happened now?<br/>„What is going on? Professor?“<br/>„Remus, I regret that I am the person to tell you this, I whish fate would not be so cruel, especially to you and today, but I am afraid Sirius is on his way to Askaban right now. It appears that he was the one that told Voldemort James and Lillys location. He was the traitor.“</p><p>„No“, was the only thing Remus could say to this. It literally did not click in his head.<br/>James. Lilly. And Sirius being the one that gave them away. He felt sick. Sicker than he had ever felt. This could not be. Sirius was James brother, if not by boold then definitly by choice.<br/>He loved James, Lily and Harry more than life itself.<br/>All the emotions of the day came back rushing into his conciousness, like a tidalwave on a very,very cold day.<br/>He jumped up from the kitchen chair that he had let himself sink on in shock and puked into the sink. Fantastic.<br/>He felt Dumbleore setting a wrinkly hand on his shoulder. He heared how the headmaster muttered a spell and his halfdigested dinner from yesterday disappeared from the kitchen sink. Dumbledore rubbed his hand calmingly over Remus cream sweater.<br/>„What happened to Peter then?“, he asked, still panting a little and staring directly into Dumbledores piercing eyes „Is he okay?“</p><p>Remus would have never admitted it to Peter directly, he had never told anyone, but Peter could be like a child sometimes. He tagged along and looked up to James as much as to a knight in shining armor. He must have felt a different kind of grief today. Now they were the only ones left, Remus thought. They had to stick together.<br/>„Peter is dead. He must have found out what had happened and connected the dots. He chased Sirius down in the muggle world. He tried to avenge James and Lilly, but Sirius must have been quicker. The aurors just found a finger of Mr. Pettigrew at the scene. The muggles tell everyone it was a gas explosion.“</p><p>At this point, Remus was glad that they were holding back with the details. He could not take them anymore, but the stories sounded more realistic now. This morning he had felt like Lilly and James being murdered was happening in a parallel world, far, far, away. <br/>Now, sixteen hours later he would not have been surprised if Dumbledore had told him Sirius and Peters confrontation took place in the main street of his village.<br/>Oh Peter, loyal and stupid Peter.<br/>He emptied his stomach again, although there was not much left anymore.<br/>While Remus was staring into the sink, he took in the dropplets of water clinging to the grey steel there. The barely there moonlight was reflecting in them and while moonlight had always been connected to the feeling of fear in his life, now it was helping him to make a decision. </p><p>He turned around and faced Dumbledore and McGonnagall. She was holding Harry now, Dumbledore must have given him to her while Remus was puking his guts out.<br/>„I am taking him. He is my best friends son, I love him, of course will I keep him. I am the only one hes got left, right?“<br/>„Are you sure, Remus?“, McGonnagal asked him with a worried tone in her voice. When Dumbledore had told her about his plan of giving Harry to Remus Lupin she had thought that it would be a good idea. In school he had been headboy, he was a responsible young man and not as much of a troublemaker as his best friends. At least this was what she tought. Merlin knew what shenenigans she had not detected in their school years.<br/>But now that this young man in front of her was looking so obviously broken, his drawers emptied on the floor and several pieces of furniture she was not so sure anymore.<br/>„We could also bring him to Lillys sister, Petunia. She has a boy Harrys age, I am certain they would get along just fine“, she suggested.<br/>Remus chuckled, although he did not feel like laughing. He had met Petunia Potter, or Dursley, as he had heared was her name now, just once. She had been at James and Lillys wedding, but she had left directly after the ceremony and pulled a mean face during the entirety of it. What he had witnessed of her through stories did not help to improve her reputation either. No, this bald eagle of a woman would not get his best friends precious boy.<br/>„No, that wont be necessary. I will take him“, he said sternly.<br/>With that being said, he scooped Harry out of McGonagalls arms and held him close to his chest, as if he never wanted to let him go.</p><p>Harry was fast asleep, his mouth hanging a little open. There was a wound on his forehad Remus realised, which looked like a deep scratch. It was shaped like a lightningbolt. Remus heart sank a little lower than it already was as he remembered that the movement one had to make to establish the killing curse had the same shape as Harrys wound. <br/>He caressed Harrys cheek, as he had done so often when he had come over to the Potter household and James had declared that Uncle Monney is here, Harry say hello to your most feral uncle!<br/>He was so thrown back into this happier moment, that he did not hear that Dumbledore was talking to him until the headmaster called out his name for the third time.<br/>„Remus... Remus!“<br/>„Yes? I am sorry Professor.“<br/> „I was saying that we are heading back now. Our job here is done, and Hagrid is waiting and probably scaring all the neighbourhood cats away. You can send me an owl anytime you want, I will be glad to hear from you and little Harry.<br/>And I will probably have you shadowed by some members of the order in the first months, no one knows how many of Voldemorts companions are still out there and what their intentions are, although I have heared many of them have already fled the country. The Aurors will take care of them, but still, you can never be to sure.“<br/>Remus just nodded. He guided his old headmaster and house teacher to the door of his flat, were both were taking one last look at Harry.<br/>„The boy who lived“ Dumbledore said to Remus as McGonagall was already taking the stairs downstairs. „He will have it good with you, I am sure of that. Lilly and James would think so asweel“.<br/>„Thank you Professor“, Remus mumbled. Tears were beginning to prickle in his eyes again. <br/>He wiped them away as he waited at the window until all the lights had flown back into the lanterns and Dumledores and McGonagalls shadows had suddenly disappeared, then he stumbled into his bedroom.</p><p>Harry squirmed in his arms.Remus layed him down on his matress because he obviously did not have anything baby apropiate in his household at the moment and then slipped into bed himself. He was to drained to even change, but he could not sleep.<br/>While his head was pounding with everything that had happened on this fatefull first of november, the knowledge that all of his friends were dead, in prison, or traitors he just could not seem to rest. He did not dare to move in case he woke up Harry (who had always been a very light sleeper ever since he was born and had cost his parents many hours of sleep), and so he just stared at him, wondering how he was supposed to take care of such a fragile being, while knowing on the other hand that he would do anything to protect it.</p><p>When he eventually drifted of in the later hours of the morning as people down on the streets were alredy heading to work, his last thought before falling asleep was of the last time James, Lily, Sirius, Peter, Marlene and him were at the lake outside Hogwarts castle together. <br/>Happier times. Easier times, even though Voldemort had alredy started his war and they all knew what would happen next. They had spent the last hours before their final train ride to London there, reminiscing over all the memories they had made, feeling scared but also weirdly content on their last day in Hogwarts.<br/>„No matter what happens“, Sirius had asked. „It will always be us right?“<br/>He had looked at them with his typical cocky grin stretching across his face, but there was an underlying tone of fear in his voice only his friends could detect.<br/>They had all answered with something like  of course paddy, who do you think we are?, or shut up of course it will be.<br/>In their naivity they had thought that they would all be together like this for the rest of their lifes.</p><p>And now, fours years later, it was just Remus and Harry.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ten Years</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Because this is a HP fic I think I should mention that I absolutely despise JKR and everything she stands for! This is a safe space for every trans/lgbt/poc person. I love you, you are valid, JKR is not.<br/>I hope you enjoy this chapter! Toodels!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus had never expected to have children someday. It had hit him somewhere between Lily and James announcing that they were having a baby and seeing Harrys nursery ready and set up in their small home in Godrics Hollow for the first time, which had made it seem shockingly real to him that they were not students pulling pranks anymore, but (barely) functoning adults about to become parents.<br/>He had stood there in the room with the yellow walls and the owl-mobile over the cot, the shelf  with childrens books and the stuffed animal dragon sitting on the dresser in the corner, ready to be played with and had suddenly felt very lonely.<br/>James and Lily were downstairs welcoming Sirius and Peter, who had come over for dinner as well. Remus could hear them talking.<br/>That was when he had realised that they were all able to have that. A family. For him that would be hard, if not impossible. <br/>Of the few relationships and flings he have had so far, none of the girls had stayed for long after he had built up the courage to tell them about his condition. And it would be quite impossible to share his life with a muggle without them finding out about it and running away out of fear, or calling the police on him for being crazy. Not to speak of the guilt he would feel if he passed on his lycanthropy to an innocent child.<br/>Then James had called out for him and the moment of sadness had been over. He had gone downstairs and had spent a lovely evening together with his friends. But from this moment on, it had been clear for him that children and a family would never be in the picture for him.</p><p>And now there he was, twenty one and taking care of a child that was not his, but taking on the role of a father.  Although he would have never contested the title of Harrys father, that had been clear for him since day one. Harrys parents were Lily and James. He had decided that he would go with his nickname for Harry, and be Moony. <br/>He had tried to establish this for Harry from the begining on, and the boy had accepted it from the get go. However, there had been moments where he had called him „Dad“ when he was younger or argued with Remus why he could not tell his friends at school that he was his father, and Remus heart had been pierced with an ice cold knife everytime when it had happened.</p><p>„Why can I not call you my dad?“, had Harry asked him at age seven, after suggesting that Remus came to his school the next wednsday and talked aboutone of his jobs like all the other parents did.<br/>„Because I am not your dad“, Remus had answered and turned away from Harry to wash the dishes in the sink. He had tried to make the conversation seem as casual as possible.<br/>„But you are my dad!“, Harry had protested. „You do everything that my friends dads do! And I only know you, am I right?“<br/>Remus had closed his eyes and taken a deep breath, ellbow-deep in the dishes. The statement hurt, even though it was true. Harry did not know James, he had no idea of what he was like. Sometimes, Remus forgot about that.<br/>„And that is the point, Harry,“ he had said, turning around to face him. „I do everything a father does, but I am not your father. But I have taken on the role, and so I will go to school with you on wednsday, but I am still Moony to you, do you understand that? Your father was a great man, and I am not going to pretend that I am him.“<br/>„Fine, Moony,“ Harry had said in a mocking tone, and hopped from his chair. Moments later the situation had not mattered to him anymore.</p><p>Until Harry was ten, Remus had carried around the feeling that Harry liked the stories he got told by everyone about his parents, but never paid them to much mind. Strangers in the Leaky Cauldron, the Weasleys and some of the few wizard friends Remus had kept in contact with over the years were the main people Harry got these stories from, except from Remus himself of course, who could basically tell a story about Lily and James whenever he saw a teaspoon that looked like the ones they had owned back in the day.<br/>It only began when Harry started Hogwarts and started to mature that he would begin to drop sentences like „I wish I knew them“ or I wish they were here now“ on his birthday or onam.<br/>He began to come to Remus and confess that he missed them, and that he wanted to know more about them than stories about their adventures in Hogwarts.<br/>He wanted to know more about them personally (but not without making sure that Remus always knew how appreciated and thankful Harry was for him and everything he did for him. It was just that Harry had the unexplainable feeling that something was missing from him, that could not be replaced).<br/>Harry had idolised his parents as a child, but as a teenager he started to see a clearer picture of them and sometimes yearned for the relationship that had been taken from him so cruelly.</p><p>But aside from the sudden moments of melacholy and sadness, Harry was a happy child. In his first year with Remus he liked to tuck on everything that he was able to grab, he loved colorful toys and to Remus distaste muggle toys that made music. He had gotten a toy ice cream truck by one of his neighbours as a gift, after Remus had explained a muggle-friendly version of the events that led to him taking care of his best friends child, in a letter that he had pinned to the postboxes by the entryway. For the muggles in his town Lily and James had died in a car crash.</p><p>As he got older, Harry started playing basketball in a childrens team organised by his primary school.<br/>He loved the color yellow and his favourite season was summer. He loved swimming in the ocean. Every year they would drive to the coast and stay in the same smal hotel by the sea for two weeks, building sandcastles and eating chocolate ice cream until Harry got tired and had to be carried to bed.</p><p>The first weeks after Harrys arrival were hard on Remus, even if they did not leave many space for grieve and tears.<br/>He was too busy buying baby clothes, toys, a bed and baby-proofing his flat, since Harry could already crawl and was in the phase where he stuck everything in his mouth that he could reach. Nothing was safe from him. Remus fell into bed every evening, tired and exhausted. Sometimes he felt as if he could not handle taking care of Harry, but more often he was quite happy when he got Harry to calm down after a tantrum or figured out what kind of babyfood he especially liked (turkey carrot was a favourite).<br/>Over the day he was too invested in other things to think about Lily and James, but in the evenings, when Harry was already asleep and he had managed to get the washing on and nothing was left to do, he was broken.<br/>He saw his friends in their sons smile, his eyes, in the way he would pout the same way as Lily when he was upset, and in his curious look that he had definetly inherited from her.</p><p>He had known from the second he heared about the killings and about the fight between Sirius and Peter, that he would never get over their deaths and Sirius betrayal, but he told himself that it would become easier after a while. That while would take four years.<br/>It took four years for him to not flinch when they sent broadcasts on TV, on the anniversary of Lilys and James deaths, when they would remind the public that it had been so-and-so may years after Sirius had killed Peter and all these muggles.<br/>It did not seem real to him. It was unbelievable. But Sirius had betrayed everyone Remus had thought he had loved, and sometimes, when he was especially angry at fate, he even thought bitterly that he should have known, considering what family Sirius came from and what they were famous for.</p><p>The anniversary of the killings in general would be hard on him for the rest of his life, although he became better and better at learning how to handle the grief over the years.<br/>Too his luck, and that was a weird word in that context, Halloween fell on the same day as the anniversary of Lilys and James murder, and Harry loved Halloween, so Remus spent the evening of the 31st usually out in the streets chasing after Harry in his costume instead of crying.<br/>The crying happened later, when Harry was tucked in bed, happy and content with his day.</p><p>When it was time for full moon, Remus would give Harry to one of the former members of the order, where he would stay for three days, until he did not feel like every bone in his body was broken anymore, and he could take on the responibility of safely caring for the whirlwind of a child that was Harry James Potter.</p><p>Mostly, Harry would stay at Molly and Arthur Weasleys house. They were one of Harrys favourite places to stay at, and with five children the most entertaining. He and their son Ron were the same age, and they got along greatly. Ron was basically Harrys best friend from the moment Remus had set him down on the blanket Ron was playing on, when he had dropped Harry of at the burrow for the first time.<br/>At this point Harry had been in his care for around half a year and stayed with Benji Fenwick and his wife most of the times, one of Lilys good friends from school. But this evening had been their anniversary, and the Weasleys had kindly offered to take Harry in for a few nights.</p><p>Harry had even stayed with Rubeus Hagrid one time before, and while Remus liked Hagrid, and Harry had loved Fang, Hagrid was a little clumsy and had a hard time calming Harry down after a flubberworm had bitten him, and he had promptly started to cry. They had agreed on Hagrid taking care of Harry once he was a little older. Remus appreciated the effort though, he knew that Hagrid had loved Lily and James deeply and that he just wanted to help.</p><p>And when Remus did not have his time of the month, he was working two part time jobs, while Harry was playing in the kindergarten on the other side of the village.<br/>Remus had been smart enough to tell both of his bosses that he had another job for five days a month, where he worked at a dogshelter. To his luck both of them believed him, and so that problem was out of the way.<br/>On Monday, Tuesday and Wednsday he worked in the public library and sorted books, organised readings and tried not to sneeze because of the dust sitting in the corners of the old building. On Thursdays and Fridays he had gotten a job at the local sweets shop, which was convinient because he got discount on chocolates for him, and on candy for Harry.<br/>After work he picked up Harry from the kindergarten. There was nothing that could brighten his mood more after a busy day at work than Harry running to him to show him his newest artwork.</p><p>Harry had made friends pretty much from the get go. They were four in total, Marielle, Tobias and Richard. They came over at least once a week, to play and to get on Remus nerves, but he loved them anyways. <br/>They reminded him of the marauders in some ways.  </p><p>And so the years went by. Harry grew up, looking more and more like James everyday and sounding a lot like Lily when he was worried about Remus when he picked him up after fullmoon, when Remus was still pale and looked a little sick.<br/>„Are you okay again?“, Harry would ask him every time they were were climbing out of their fireplace, after Remus had picked Harry up from his four day vacation at some ex-order members house.<br/>Remus would say yes, and then he would make them both a hot chocolate, no matter how hot it was and ask Harry about school, his friends, what he had done over the past days while he was gone and if Harry wanted to go to London to celebrate Diwali with his grandparents community there when the celebration would be held in a few weeks.</p><p>Remus tried his best in giving Harry the best childhood he could have. They never had much, since his two jobs were not paying as good as he wished they would (but he was glad they had even hired him, so he was not really comlaining), and he refused to get money out of the vault Harry had at Gringotts, it was his and he would get it once he turned seventeen, as Lily and James had decided, but they were doing fine.<br/>On fridays Remus would try to cook an indian dish for Harry, in an attempt to bring him closer to his and James culture. Harry also had a book with indian stories for children. Harrys favourite was the one about the king who would be stronger than fate, and Remus had to read it to him so many times, that he could still tell the story when he was grey and old.</p><p>Sometimes it was hard for them to combine the wizarding and the muggle world. Especially when he was small, it was hard for Remus to explain to Harry why he could not tell his friends about Quidditch or buy them chocolate frogs for their birthdays.  They had installed a vanishing spell in the doorway, so that all the magical artefacts would disappear the second a muggle set foot in their flat.<br/> It had happened once or twice that Remus had been ordered to speak to one of Harrys teachers, since Harry had talked about dragons or dwarfes in class and the teacher had thankfully blamed it on his vivid imagination (but one that was apparently very distracting to the other kids. Remus doubted that any of the kids minded Harrys stories, especially when classes were as strict as Harry always coplained about).<br/>There had also been the first time Harry had used magic, when he had dyed his math teachers hair blue out of frustration over a quite difficult exersise. Remus had just signed the letter Harry had brought home that day, laughed, and had taken him out for ice cream afterwards.<br/>He did have a more serious talk with him in the evening, about being careful with magic in public.</p><p>They had managed to keep everything under the wraps so well, with the spell in place and Harry getting more serious over keeping the wizarding world hidden after the incident with the dyed hair, but there had to be the moment where the luck they had for the past years just was not on their side.</p><p>It was Harrys eleventh birthday. They knew that his letter from Hogwarts would probably arrive that day, so they had arranged a sleepover for Harrys friends in the evening, when the letter would have been delivered and nobody could have possibly seen the owl that would bring it.<br/>Early in the morning, just past seven, they were both sitting in the kitchen. Harry had woken up hours ago, buzzing with excitement and not able to sleep any longer. <br/>Remus had woken up because of Harrys antics and had decided to start with cake and presents.<br/>He could only imagine what Harry must feel like, he himself had been rather nervous on his eleventh birthday, feeling anxious about if he would even be accepted into Hogwarts.<br/>They were just eating a slice of birthday cake, as the doorbell rang. They both looked up confused. Who could it be this early in the morning?<br/>„Maybe its Mrs. Sterling?,“ Harry suggested. The elderly women loved him dearly and Harry helped her often with carrying her groceries up the stairs and got some chocolate in return. Harry liked her aswell. She was a little bit like a grandma to him and with Lilys, James and Remus parents dead, she was basically the only geandma he could have. He loved her cat, even though it carried the un-cat-like name Steve. Harry suspected it was named after her late husband.<br/>Remus agreed. <br/>„You should probably get the door then“.</p><p>But when Harry opened the door, it was his friend Marielle standing in front of him, not the old lady in her green gardening shoes.<br/>„What are you doing here?“, he asked her astounded. „The party starts at seven? Or have I messed up the times myself?“<br/>„No,“ Marielle laughed. Today she wore a yellow summerdress. Her brown hair was waeved into pigtails, and held together with red bows. „My aunt just invited us over very spontaneously and to make sure I am not late today I just wanted to bring my stuff over already!“<br/>As to prove it, she held up her sleeping bag and backpack.<br/>„Oh yeah, sure. Come in“, Harry said and stepped aside so she could enter.<br/>„Hello Remus,“ Marielle greeted as they walked by the kitchen and into Harrys room.<br/>„Nice to see you, Marielle,“ he responded. She was without a doubt his favourite of Harrys friends, even if he probaly should not have favourites. She was always happy and kind, and up to any kind of shenenigans. He had once caught her and Harry building a waterslide on the playground around the corner. Just that they had used salad dressing instead of water.<br/>He still did not know where they had gotten this idea from. Probably from one of Marielles three big brothers.</p><p>Just as he was finishing his piece of cake, there was a scream and flop coming from Harrys room.<br/>He rushed into the room.<br/>Marielle had dropped her backpack on the floor and apparently there had been a bottle of grape juice in it, because a purple puddle was forming on the floor. Harry stood beside her. They both were staring at a grey ball of feathers lying on Harrys bed, that must have flown through the open window and crashed on the matress.<br/>As Harry heared Remus come rushing in, he turned around.<br/>Marielle was still staring at the owl with Harrys Hogwarts letter in its claws, her mouth wide open in awe and shock.<br/>„Is that an owl?“, she asked astounded.<br/>„I can explain...“, Harry began to stutter and looked helplessly to Remus, in hopes of him having a plausible and non-magic excuse for what had just happened.</p><p>Remus  took a deep breath to calm down and process the stress that had just started to kick in. If he was being honest, he was not so sure about Harry being able to explain that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are greatly appreciated! I hope you have a great day today, and always!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Old Faces and New Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>My dudes, I wish I could update this badboy more regularly, but I do have kind of a social life and some work to do, so I cant promise anything. However, I try to post the chapters as close to each other as possible. This one took me quite a while. Have fun reading it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think of a solution for this mess. Marielle was looking confused from him to Harry and then again from Harry to him.<br/>He took a deep breath.<br/>„Marielle? Would you mind taking this owl into the kitchen and giving it some water, please?“, Remus asked her.<br/>The girl got the hint immediatly and took off, clutching the owl in her hands. They could hear her whispering assuring words to the bird as she walked away. She loved animals and was prone to stop dead in her tracks to remove snails from the sidewalk and to save them from peoples gigantic feet.</p><p>The second they heared the tap running in the kitchen, Remus turned to Harry.<br/>„I think you know what I have to do now, right?“, he said in the calmest voice he could manage, although he was going mad internally. Out of all the things that Marielle could have seen during her visits in the past, from magical toys to candy, moving pictures or the daily prophet, the owl and the acceptance letter from Hogwarts were the hardest to explain. Everything else Remus could have explained with it being a new candy he got to try out, or he could have sent her home telling her to check her temerature, pictures obviously did not move (which would have been mean, but a morally more acceptable thing to do, then what he had to do know), but Marielle had seen the yellow parchment with the Hogwarts sigil and read the words written in green ink underneath it, school for witchcraft and wizardry, and that was hard to chalk up to a vivid imagination or a fever.</p><p>Harry sat down on his bed with a heavy sigh.<br/>„You have to obliviate her, right? Make her forget everything she saw.“<br/>„Yes“, Remus said, his heart sinking to his stomach as he saw Harry so upset.<br/>„It is the law, Harry. I know how much you would like to tell your friends about the wizarding world.“<br/>„Not even all of my friends. I like Tobias and Richard, but Marielle is my best friend. I am sure she would not tell anybody!<br/>„I do believe that,“ Remus said and knelt down in front of Harry, so their eyes were on the same level now. „But it is the law. I can either do it by myself, ot I can write a letter to the ministry and they will sent someone to do it.“<br/>„The law sucks“, Harry exclaimed angrily. <br/>Silence fell over them. Marielle was still in the kitchen. She was humming to the owl now, and Remus was sure that he could make out a Beatles tune.<br/>A few seconds passed before Harry spoke again, this time more gentle.<br/>„She would not tell anyone. I promise.“<br/>„I know, Harry. I know.“<br/>„You could still obliviate her later, if she does tell anybody.“<br/>„But then I probably would also have to obliviate her parents and her brothers, and it would become a huge investigation with the ministry. I am allowed to obliviate one muggle, but when it is more then two non-magical people I have to involve the ministry.“</p><p>„I do not understand a word you are saying, but I would never tell a secrect if I am supposed to keep it.“<br/>Both Harry and Remus flinched.<br/>Without one of them noticing, Marielle had sneaked back from the kitchen and was now standing in the doorway.<br/>There was a stern determination on her freckled face. Her lips were pressed together and her eyebrows were furrowed.<br/>„See!“, Harry cried out and jumped up to stand by his friend. „We can trust her! She wont tell a soul!“<br/>„I definetly wont Mr. Lupin“, Marielle promised. „And if I do, you can turn me into a frog. Thats what you do right, you can do magic?“</p><p>Remus was still torn. Harry and Marielle were looking at him beggingly, as if they were asking him if they could have a sleepover even though it was a school-night, and not if he would allow Marielle to know about the biggest secrect that had ever been kept in the history of humanity.</p><p>The wheeles were turning in his head. But then he thought about Lillys family, and her awful sister that absolutely despised the magical community, and all the families of muggle-born students that had kept this secret for centuries.</p><p>„Very well. But I will not hesitate to turn you into a frog if you do.“<br/>He looked at Harry. The boy was smiling from ear to ear.</p><p> </p><p>Three weeks later they were standing in front of the brick wall in the small courtyard of the Leaky Cauldron. Remus tapped on the correct stone with his wand, and the stones were quickly rearranging themselves to form the entryway to Diagon Alley.<br/>Harrys mouth fell open. He had been to Diagon Alley before, with his grandparents before they had died when he was six, or with Remus when he had to do some magical shopping or bank business, but never in the weeks before Hofwarts had started. The street stretching out in front of them was packed with wizards and witches in colorful robes, students and magical animals being carried in cages or on shoulders.</p><p>„This is fantastic!“, Harry exclaimed as they began their walk down the street, constantly turning around to not miss anything and to soak up every little detail. Many new shops had opened since he had last been to Diagon Alley, and a lot of the ones Harry already knew had redecorated their windows to present their newest goods.<br/>„Where do we go first?“, Harry asked exitedly as they passed a wizard with a chameleon sitting on his shoulder. „Oh, oh, can we go to Eyelops? Moony? Please?“<br/>Remus chuckled. Since months now Harry had been begging him for an owl, reasoning this wish with the argument that it would be the most practical way to keep in touch with home when he was at Hogwarts. Remus had nearly caved in and got him one for his eleventh birthday, but had hesitated when he had thought about Marielle, Tobias and Richard coming over basically every day now, that the holidays had begun. <br/>There would have been no way they could have hid an owl over the day, when it was sleeping and not out hunting.<br/>With Marielle now knowing about the wizarding world (so far she had kept her promise and had not told a single soul anything), most of its costums and Harry being away soon, that had changed.</p><p>„Maybe when we are done with everything,“ he said and winked at Harry, whose eyes promptly turned as big as plates.<br/>„But only when we are done, and we have got everything you need and some money left“, Remus reminded him.<br/>The small pouch of money in his jacket pocket felt lighter than he cared to admit.<br/>Harry nodded quickly and put on a more serious face, as if to prove that he could be well-behaved and therefore be deserving of an owl.</p><p>They went to Madam Malkins Robes for all Occasions first, to buy school robes for Harry. As they entered the store, the smell of freshly washed clothes and flowery perfume filled up their senses.<br/>Madam Malkin noticed them immediately. She was a nice and patened woman in her late fiftys, and still as professional and knowledgeable as to Remus school years.<br/>After asking a few questions about what they were looking for, she took Harry with her to the back of the shop, to find him some second hand robes that would fit him.</p><p>While they were gone, Reums wandered down the rows of dress robes in all imaginable colours and waited for them to be done. His heart was heavy.<br/>Soon, Harry would be off to Hogwarts, learning to make feathers fly and how to turn matches into needels. He would watch Quidditch and find new friends and be gone until christmas. And Remus would be alone in their small flat and would spend his evenings with reading or watching TV on their tiny couch without him. It would surely be weird in the first weeks, he had gotten so used to the flat being full of laughter and to never being alone.</p><p>On the one hand he was incredibly proud of the boy he had raised over the years, despite many struggles and sleepless nights, and on the other hand he missed him already and could not wait for it to be christmas and for Harry to be back.</p><p>As he was thinking, voices rang to his ear. He decided to go back and investigate what was going on, to where Harry was standing on a small podest, clad in black robes with needels at the seam. On the podest next to him stood another boy around Harrys age with white blonde hair. He was a good bit taller than Harry and had his chest puffed out proudly.</p><p>„I am going to be a Slytherin!“, the other boy said with conviction. <br/>„How do you know that?“, asked Harry. „We have not been sorted yet.“<br/>„Well“, said the boy. „My entire family was in Slytherin. It is quite obvious that I am going to be one as well. I guess father would be fine with Ravenclaw as well, or with Gryffindor even, as long as it is not Hufflepuff. I do not think he would approve of me being in the dumb house“.<br/>He spit out the last sentence and Remus felt how his distaste for this obviously arrogant boy grew.<br/>„What is wrong with Hufflepuff? My mums friend was a Hufflepuff and he is great“, Harry retaliated.</p><p>Before the other boy could say anything else, a voice errupted from behind Remus. He was abpruptly pushed aside by a woman in emerald green robes lunging forward to where Harry and the boy were talking.<br/>„Draco!“, she called out and pulled the boy from the podest.<br/>Draco seemed confused by his mothers sudden appearance and looked at her puzzeled.<br/>„Mother? I am not done yet!“, he protested.<br/>„Yes, you are“, said the woman in a strict tone. She guided Draco to the register, nearly dragging him over the floor, to where Madam Malkin was standing, who seemed to be as confused by the whole thing as Remus, Draco and Harry were, the later who was still standing on his platform in the middle of the store.<br/>„We would like to pay,“ the woman said coldly, and then, in a lower voice that Remus could not have understood if his lycanthropy did not enhance his hearing, she said : „ And maybe keep an eye on who is shopping at your store, or me and my husband will no longer be loyal customers here“.</p><p>As she bowed down her head to look for her wallet in her bag, he could finally get a proper look at her face and his blood nearly ran cold as he saw who it was.</p><p>The woman was Narcissa Malfoy, Sirius Cousin and part of the family that had rejected him in his sixth year of Hogwarts. She had married Lucius Malfoy just a few weeks after graduating, and while Remus had heared about them having a child, he had never made the connection that said child could be Harrys age.<br/>Narcissa and Lucius had been involved deeply with Voldemort during the war. And they had been in the same year and house as Severus Snape, Lilys old ex-friend from the first five years in Hogwarts.<br/>Snape had probaly told them and the rest of the death eaters that he was a werewolf, which must have led Narcissa to cause a scene. The cances were at least high. Thankfully, there were no other costumers besides Harry and Remus in the store right now, and Madam Malkin did not seem to have gotten Narcissas hint.</p><p>He could just pray that she did not tell Draco about who he was. Remus knew Sirius family, and he knew how fast gossip could travel within Hogwarts walls. He did not want there to be any negative consequences for Harry.</p><p>„That was weird“, Harry said several minutes later, as they were  out in the open again, walking down Diagon Alley. Their next destination was Olivanders to buy a wand. The bag from Madam Malkin with Harrys school robes was clutched in his hand.<br/>Remus just noded. He did not really know what to say.</p><p>They entered Olivanders Wand shop. Deep in the back a bell announced their entrance. They waited. Harry was nervously shifting from foot to foot. Getting a wand was something he had been looking forward to for a while now. As Remus was nearly ready to shout for Olivander, the man himself  finally came swooping in from the back of the shop.<br/>„Mr. Potter,“ he said and shook a slightly irritated looking Harrys hand. „I have been expecting you. You know, I feel like it was just yesterday that your mother and father were here to buy their wands.  Very talented people, I must say. And of course I also remeber Mr. Lupin“, he added and shook Remus hand aswell.</p><p>Remus was surprised by how good his memories were, considering how old the wandmaker looked.<br/>„I am excited to see which wand will choose you today, Mr. Potter“, said Olivander and pulled out a tapemeasure, which got to work quickly and started to measure Harrys arms, legs and even the width of his nostrils.</p><p>After the tape was done, Olivander brought out several wands and Remus sat down on a small stool so he could watch. Harry looked at him excitedly now, as Olivander handed him the first wand, a long, slender model out of pine. Remus gave him a reassuring thumps-up.<br/>But both of their optimism faded slowly, as after twenty minutes and several wands, none of them had claimed Harry as their owner.<br/>„Not to worry Mr.Potter, not to worry“, said Olivander, as positive as ever as he disappeared behind the shops counter. „The wand chooses the wizard. We will find the one for you, it is just a little... what if... yes maybe. Lets try this one.“</p><p>He emerged again, and handed Harry another wand.<br/>Harry looked sceptical, but as his fingertips touched the wood, the wand started to spray out red and gold sparkles. Surprised Harrys eyes widened.<br/>„Wicked“, he whispered. Remus jumped up from his chair.<br/>„Congratulations,“ he cheered and clapped Harry on the shoulder. Harry grinned proudly from ear to ear.</p><p>„Yes, I was wondering if that would be the right one for him. But I was correct. 11 inches and phoenix feather. Made out of holly“, said Olivander.</p><p>„Why were you thinking about that?“, Harry asked the wandmaker. „Is something wrong with it?“<br/>„I am not sure, but I do not think so, Mr. Potter. When this wands brother has achived some great things. Great, but terrible all the same.“</p><p>„What do you mean?“</p><p>„I mean to say that the phoenix, who gave his feather to be the core of this wand, gave a second one to be the core of another wand. The one of who-must-not-be-named.“</p><p> </p><p>Remus had known that some wands shared the same core, but that it was extremely rare. That Harry had been chosen by such a wand was an odd coincedence. But that it shared a core with Lord Voldemorts wand, the wand that had killed this innocent boys parents, was a cruel joke by the universe in Remus opinion.<br/>The news had definetly put a damper on their moods, even though both of them pretended it did not.</p><p>It was only as they were done with all the shopping, sitting in the Leaky Cauldron to have supper, surrounded by the several bags full of books, robes and Harrys new owl that they had bought (and which had made Harrys face light up like a thousand christmas trees), that Harry spoke up.</p><p>„Do you think I will be a bad wizard?“, he asked carefully. Remus looked up from his tomato soup, thoroughly surprised by this question.<br/>„No! Of course not! What makes you think that?“<br/>„You-know-who killed mum and dad with a wand whose core is identical to mine. What if I can not handle its magic?“<br/>Remus sighed. He hated to see Harry so worried.<br/>„Harry, the magic you do is entirely your own, no one elses. The wand will help you to guide your magic and transform it into spells. You will do good magic and great things with it, as Olivander said. You-know-who killed your parents because he was evil to the bone. He was dark magic from within. But he chose to be that kind of wizard.“<br/>Silence ensued.<br/>„I do not want to be a wizard of the dark arts“, said Harry confidently after a while, in which they were only listening to the voices of the other people sitting around them. „I will use my magic for good and to help others.“</p><p>Remus smiled at those words. Harry sounded just like Lily.<br/>„I am sure you will be one of the greatest wizards our world has ever seen.“</p><p>They both started to get back to their meals, and Remus was relieved to see that the worried expression on Harrys face had vanished and instead been replaced by his normal, happy smile.<br/>But after a few more minutes, Harry spoke up again, his face scrunched up in an currious but anxious expression.</p><p>„Did Sirius Black choose to be a dark wizard?“<br/>Remus nearly chocked on his soup out of shock. Harry knew about Sirius. He had told him about Sirius over the years, but very carefully and not everything at once, but piece by piece. So far Harry knew that Sirius had been part of his parents and Remus friendgroup in Hogwarts. And he knew that Sirius had been Lilys and James secretkeeper and had told Voldemort their location. Harry knew Sirius had been the traitor. He did not know about Sirius killing Peter and all those Muggles though, and that could stay like this for a while.</p><p>„To be honest Harry, I am not sure. Sirius came from family of dark wizards. His brother Regulus was a follower of you-know-who. But he was the first one of the lot to be sorted into Gryffindor. He was my best friend for years, together with James. And I genuenly belived he was different from this rotten family.“</p><p>Harry poked around in his mash. He could basically feel how Remus had tensed as he had asked the question, but he had to know. Because while he had heared about Sirius Black crimes and the treason he had commited, he also knew that he had been close to his father. So close, that sometimes people had called them brothers.</p><p>„So he was dads best friend for years and still told you-know-who about mum and dad and me?“<br/>„Yes.“<br/>Remus could feel tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. After ten years Sirius was still a touchy topic for him, and at the same time he could only feel hot and burning rage when he thought about him. How could he have done this?<br/>„When I found out about his treason... it was hard for me to believe it. I could not comprehend why he did it. I trusted them all, us four were so close. But ultimately I think it was in his blood. All the propaganda from his family, in the end he could not shake it off. Maybe he got cold feet by the end of the war and joined the dark side, maybe he was a spy all along, I do not know.“<br/>„I am sorry,“ said Harry.<br/>„Harry. You do not have to apologize for anything.“<br/>„I should not have asked.“<br/>„No, it was good that you did. I should have told you more about him before. When you go to Hogwarts people will talk about, we can not change that. And if you have to hear it I rather have that you hear it from me, than from other students that only know half the truth and a couple of theories. And now eat, we have a train to catch.“</p><p>Remus tried to make the last sentence sound cheerful, as if he could wipe the heavy conversation they just had from their minds and change moods in a second, but truth to be told, he could not.<br/>As they sat in the train home ( they did most things the muggle way when outside of their apartement ) he could not stop thinking about the last weeks in Lily and James life. About all the pain and betrayal he had felt back then, he still felt now. He attempted to not let Harry see what he felt like.</p><p>But as they arrived home, he could not keep it together anymore. Harry had quickly called Marielle, Richard and Tobias after they had come home. He had explained that he wanted to tell them today that he would not join them in their new school after the break, and since it was still relatively early, Remus had not complained. </p><p>He heared the door close behind Harry and waited until he could not hear his footsteps on the stairs anymore, then he broke down. Grief for him came in waves, and this one hit him hard. He fell into bed, did not even bother to take of his jacket or his shoes and sobbed. The sobbs and sadness turned into anger after a while. He had not had such an outburst in a while.</p><p> </p><p>While Remus was lying in bed, Harry was sitting on Tobias bedroom floor, in front of his friends. He had wanted to tell them about him not going to school with them for a while now, since he had always known that he would go to Hogwarts when he turned eleven and today seemed like the perfect day in his opinion.</p><p>„It really sucks that you have to go away“, said Richard after Harry had finally broken the news.<br/>Tobias agreed with him. „ This school is in Scotland, how will you be able to keep in contact with us? You said they do not have any telephones! We will hear nothing from you until you come home for holidays!“<br/>„I can write you letters,“ said Harry. „And I know that you do not like it, but it was my parents wish that I go this school, I want to make them proud!“<br/>Marielle sat behind Richard and Tobias on Tobias bed. She winked at Harry as he said this, knowing that while Harry was genuinely upset about not seeing them for a long time, he was simultaniously really excited about going to Hogwarts. And she could really understand him. If she could, she would also go and learn about magic instead of math and english literature. If she was honest with herself, she was maybe a little jealous of her friend.</p><p>Harry caught her wink and smiled at her. „Its not going to be this bad guys!“, he promised. „I will come home for Christmas, and then everything will be like it was before“.<br/>Richard and Tobias looked sceptical. Then, Richard put his hand in front of him. „But you have to swear.“<br/>Harry put his hand on top of his. Tobias did the same. Marielle came down from the bed and kneeled down in the circle they had formed and added her hand to the pile.<br/>„I swear,“ Harry said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are appreciated :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Goodbye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In Remus opinion, September 1st came way faster than expected. From the morning on after they had returned back from Diagon Alley it seemed like time was speeding up and just running through his fingers. For Harry it was different. The days stretched like strawberry-flavoured bubblegum, with hours feeling like days and days feeling like years. He had even hung up a calender on his bedroom wall and everyday before going to bed, he would cross of the day and then flop down on his matress, smiling in excitement, but also wishing time would go faster.</p><p>And then, suddenly, the day was there, a quite warm and golden September morning, and Remus and Harry were on their way to Kings Cross Station, squeezed together in the tube between commuters and schoolchildren, who were all casting glances at Hedwig in her cage, as Harry had called the owl affectionately.</p><p>The evening before Harry had said goodbye to his friends.They had watched a movie together and Tobias mom had made them her famous lasagna, one of Harrys favourite foods, along with Molly Weasleys onion soup and Remus bread and butter pudding (the only pudding Remus could make, really. Cooking was fine, baking he seemed to find harder. Several of his attempts had ended with either their flat filled with smoke or the baked good resembeling a piece of coal instead of a cake).<br/>Marielle had even stayed for a sleepover afterwards and had just said her final goodbye to Harry this morning before they had gotten into the taxi driving them to the nearest trainstation. She had also given Harry a present, a bracelet made out of leather threads that held a small charm of a koi fish.<br/>Kois were Marielles favourite animals.<br/>„So you won’t forget me,“ she had explained.</p><p>„Hurry, hurry“, Harry urged now, running ahead as they had finally entered Kings Cross and left the tube bhind. Meanwhile Remus was struggling with picking up the huge trunk and Hedwigs cage and putting them on a cart near the entrance. <br/>„Do not worry Harry, we wont be late“; he said raising his voice, hoping Harry could still hear him since he had alreadydfsxc skipped ahead a few meters and was now barely visible between the legs of all the people crowding the platforms.</p><p>As they made their way onto the platforms 9 and 10, a group of italian tourists passed Remus and wedged inbetween him and Harry. It took them quite a while to pass with some of them stoping in their tracks to take pictures of god knows what (admittedly, Kings Cross was not very beautiful), and others moving very slowly so that they could talk to each other while walking. When they had finally disappeared, Remus could not see the boy anymore.</p><p>„Damn it“, he whispered to himself. Confused he looked around, trying to make out Harry in the crowd. He could not be far away, the barrier getting them to the Hogwarts Express was so close, where was he?</p><p>„Remus! Remus!“, someone called out. A hand had shot up from the bunch of people on the platform and waved excitedly through the air. Getting closer, Remus saw that it belonged to Molly Weasley, standing a few meters away, sourrounded by four of her boys and her daughter Ginny, all of them already dressed up in their Hogwarts Robes, ignoring the stares they got from the muggles, who must think of them as a weird and rare kind of school uniform and chatting excitedly with Harry, who was bouncing on his heels and showing off his new wand.</p><p>„Good morning Molly,“ Remus greeted her, happy that he had found her and Harry. „How are you?“<br/>„Fine, fine“, Mr. Weasley said. „I am a little sentimental, sending the last of my boys away. Now I just have Ginny at home. But everything will be alright Remus, do not worry to much,“ she added as she saw the worried look in his face.</p><p>She knew how the young man was feeling, had not she already sent five of her kids of to school. And considering the context in which Harry had come into Remus care it was no wonder that he seemed to be a little overprotective over the boy.<br/>„Mother, we have ten minutes left, I think we should go“, interrupted Percy, her third oldest, Mollys thoughts.<br/>Throwing a glance at the big clock hanging over the entrance to the platform they were standing on she saw that he was right.<br/>She turned to her children.<br/>„Alright kids, lets go then. Fred, you go first.“<br/>Some bickering ensued between the Weasleys following one of Fred and Georges shenenigans and Remus walked up to Harry. They both grabbed the handles to the cart with the trunk and Hedwig.<br/>„Ready?“, Remus asked Harry.<br/>„Yeah,“ Harry answered and nodded, concentrating on the brick wall in front of them. They watched Ron run towards the brickwall. He got swallowed by the red stones and now it was their turn. They started pushing and speeding up their pace the closer they got to the barrier.</p><p>For a second Remus feared that they would crash into the bricks, as he had always thought when he would enter Platform 9 3/4 in his schoolyears, but as always there was a rush of wind and suddenly they were standing surrounded by houndreds of witches and wizards, animals and magical untensils in front of the giant red train that was the Hogwarts Express.</p><p>Fred, George, Percy and Ron were already waiting for them a few meters away.<br/>„Amazing, right?“, Ron asked Harry. His eyes had become bigger than usual as he was looking around. „This year its us going off to Hogwarts,“ he said excitedly. It was clear that Ron was as excited to start school as Harry, if not even more, since he had come with his parents to send of his brothers in the past years and got a taste of what it would be like to go there himself.</p><p>Molly and Ginny came rushing through the barrier and joined them. Molly began to rummage through her bag and started handing out sandwiches wrapped in brown paper together with last words of advice or warning for her boys.<br/>„Percy, I am so proud of you. Prefect, just like your brothers. Keep up the good work but do not overwork yourself, it is owl year after all, concentrate on that, alright?“<br/>Percy nodded, thanked his mother, said goodbye and took the sandwich and then took of to the prefects compartement.<br/>„Fred, George, I do not want to hear anything about stolen toilet seats,“ Molly continued after Percys departure. „God knows how many letters we have received about you two in your first year alone.“</p><p>Remus smiled at this, the twins reminded him a lot of the brothers they had gotten their second names from. Fabian and Gideon had just been as mischievous and would have been proud of their sisters sons.</p><p>In all the hectics that was the Weasleys goodbye ritual, Harry had gone quiet. With the passing through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4 a sudden realisation had hit him. Worry set in his stomach his heart grew heavy. He pulled on Remus jacket sleeve, to get his attention.</p><p>„Can I ask you something?,“ Harry asked. A little concerned Remus nodded. They moved away from the Weasleys and the bulk of wizards and witches saying goodbye to their children and siblings.</p><p>„What is going on Harry?“, Remus asked when they had found a space a little secluded from all the noise and tumult. His right eyebrow was quizically pulled up. Harry took a deep breath.</p><p>„What if everyone knows who I am? They will expect all these great things of me, like Olivander said. And I dont think I can hold up their expectations.“ It was out.</p><p>„Harry,“ Remus said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. „I cant deny that many people will know who you are. And I cant tell you that they wont have made their preassumtions about you...“<br/>„But...“, Harry tried to respond.<br/>„No but Harry, let me finish. You know what? Fuck what they think. You are Harry Potter, yes, but you are not a myth. You can show them what you are, who you are and what you do. I raised you to be your own person. Listen to your gut and your heart and make decisions the way you think is the right way. Alright?“</p><p>„Alright“, Harry said and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. „Can 	I write you letters?“<br/>„Of course, who do you think I am? I feel hurt that you had the feeling that you had to ask Harry“; Remus laughed, faking being hurt.<br/>„And I will give your letters to Marielle. I dont think Hedwig dropping of letters would go unnoticed, sadly.“<br/>Harry smiled, feeling relieved. He hugged Remus. „Thank you“, he said.</p><p>„Harry!“, Ron cried out from somewhere behind them where he was already entering the train. His voice sounded faint over the hundreds of voices meeting on the platform. „Hurry up, its nearly time!“<br/>„Watch out, promise me? I dont want you to break James record of most letters sent home in a month, alright?“, Remus said. He knew that he would get letters from Hogwarts. He would be lying if he said he would not be disappionted if there were no letters concerning Harry flying to him in the next seven years. But he had to at least pretend to want Harry to be a well-behaved student all the time.<br/>„Of course not, sir,“ Harry mocked him, straightened his back and salutated him.<br/>„I will be well-behaved and will never break the rules!“ It was obvious that this was a lie, but it just amused Remus how much Harry reminded him of James in this moment. He just laughed.<br/>„Go now, you dont want to miss the train.“</p><p>They sprinted towards the Hogwarts Express. The twins had thankfully already carried Harrys trunk and Hedwig inside one of the compartements of the train. Ron stood at the door and held out a hand to pull Harry inside. Remus watched them as they sat down on opposite seats amd grinned at each other. He was glad to see Harry be more relaxed now. </p><p>A shrill tone cut through the air and everyone on the platform took a few steps back. The train began moving. Slowly it took up speed and Remus, Molly and little Ginny ran with it and waved at the boys until it got to fast to keep up. The three of them stopped and watched as the train drove out of Kings Cross.</p><p>When it had disappeared behind a curve, most of the people made their way back into the world of the muggles.<br/>Remus, Molly and Ginny stayed behind them and took their time with going home.<br/>„What are you doing the next few days, Remus?“, asked Mrs.Weasley as they got close to the barrier.<br/>„Not much“, Remus answered truthfully. „Less washing I suppose, now that Harry is gone. Maybe cook some pasta with aubergine, he hates those“, he joked. „But mostly work. With the summer being over many animals will be brought into the shelter again. My boss already asked me to pick up some more shifts.“<br/>„If you want, you could over for supper sometimes,“ said Ginny suddenly. „And bring a dog to pet.“<br/>Remus laughed. Ginny loved the fact that he worked at a shelter and had asked him about the animals nearly everytime he had come to pick up at the burrow.<br/>„Yeah, that would be nice. Although I am not sure if my boss would be to happy about the bringing-a-dog-part. You can come and visit me sometimes though if you want to,“ he proposed.<br/>Ginny seemed to like the idea.</p><p>They had left the barrier behind and were standing outside of platform 9 3/4 again. Muggles were swarming them, busy as London was at this time.<br/>„We have to go that way,“ Mrs.Weasley said, and pointed towards the exit. „We still have to do some shopping. But you really are welcome to come over for supper. I think Arthur has some question about muggle finances he has been wanting to ask you for a while now.“<br/>„Thank you so much Molly,“ Remus answered. „I would love to.“</p><p>And that was how Remus ended up becoming an even more regular face at the burrow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is a little shorter than expected, but I really wanted to put out a new chapter before christmas. Enjoy and let me know what you think:)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If u want to talk abt any hp stuff or this au come cry with me on tumblr, my @ is rosascanina</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>